We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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