I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
