I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
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