Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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