Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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