Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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