Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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