oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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