All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
