Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
