I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
