the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
