? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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