you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
