Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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