Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
