Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
