Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I feel like abortions should bother me more
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
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