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K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
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