The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
