Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
