I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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