omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
