i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize