you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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