she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Success! We fucked roommates!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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