id be glad to
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
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