You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
