Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
