Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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