it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
