Where is the hickey?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
