I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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