No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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