I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
did i just pee glitter
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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