that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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