I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
