drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
