He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
