there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
