omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
