i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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