There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
