Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
