i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
