put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Randomize
