We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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