is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
