Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
