I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
