tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
