I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
