Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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