he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
