Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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