oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
