giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
