# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
