honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
